Seeing Campus by Drone

Norman, OK – We’ve all had the pleasure of seeing our beautiful campus from the ground and, possibly, from the top of Sarkeys Energy Center or the upper decks of the Gaylord Memorial Stadium. From the North-leaning trees to the iconic red bricks, the University of Oklahoma is truly a sight to behold.

Have you ever wondered what this school looks like from the sky? Unless you’re an aviation major, this opportunity has likely eluded you – until now! Sweet Snark has collected these three breathtaking pictures of OU landmarks from the point of view of UAV drones just before they strike, resulting in millions of dollars in damage and senseless loss of innocent lives. Feast your eyes on this remarkable new point of view!

gaylord

A modern and expensive testament to OU’s dedication to world news and politics, the Gaylord College of Journalism and Mass Communication stands proud moments before collapsing into a fiery heap of brick and concrete.

library

Arguably the most “OU” of campus buildings, both Evans Hall and the Bizzell Library boast a unique architectural design called Cherokee Gothic. While touring campus, you will learn that the administration building has been destroyed by drone strikes twice in OU history. Wow!

kablooey

The Pride of Oklahoma goes out with a bang in its final performance of the year, dazzling fans with an unprecedented display of pyrotechnics. Little did the audience know, this was completely unplanned! When reflections from a tuba interfered with the UAV flyover’s sensitive targeting devices, the drone’s weapons system triggered. This just goes to show that sometimes bloopers make for the best entertainment!

Stunning!

Alcohol Awareness Training Glitch Gives Procrastinators Stupid Feeling of Triumph

cheers

Norman, OK – Procrastinators at the University of Oklahoma are celebrating a rare victory over kids who actually get their shit done today. Due to a glitch in OU’s OnPoint LMS, thousands of students were erroneously assigned an Alcohol Awareness training program. Failure to complete this training and quiz would result in a hold on enrollment for the next semester. Despite already participating in this training their freshman year, many responsible students took the quiz anyway, while those who tend to put things off now feel their shoddy organizational skills have finally paid off. Continue reading

Survey Indicates OU Shooting Scare “Disappointing”

shooting2Norman, OK – After the shooting scare on campus Tuesday morning turned out to simply be a mechanical backfire from a nearby construction site, Sweet Snark staff hit the streets to get a feel for the student body’s general mindset. Results showed that the majority of students “kinda weirdly hoped it was real” and felt a morbid sense of disappointment toward the false alarm. Continue reading

Brutal False Alarm Rocks OU Campus

shootingNorman, OK – Authorities reported possible shots fired near Gould Hall around 11:17am today. Sweet Snark officials were on the scene within seconds to relay the situation quickly and accurately. Initial reports included one shot heard, but no sightings of a shooter. Thanks to social media such as Facebook and Twitter, we were able to find new details literally at the speed of light. Continue reading

Asshole Professor Continues Exam Despite Power Failure

assholeprofessorNorman, OK – When a glitch in the system at OG&E caused over one-third of the buildings on campus to lose power yesterday afternoon, many students were elated to find their classes cancelled for the day. Several students even reported getting out of a psychology test due to the blackout. However, one dick of a professor, Dr. Milford Crowder, refused to cancel his geography exam despite pleas from his students to reschedule. Continue reading

#FreeOUGreek Leaves Hundreds Disappointed With Lack of Gratis Mediterranean Cuisine

freeougreekNorman, OK – This Sunday, the hashtag #FreeOUGreek surfaced on Twitter, quickly spreading among members of OU fraternity and sorority houses. Despite its popularity, the purpose of this trend is yet unknown, and has caused quite a stir among students expecting free Greek food on campus.

“I’m totally broke, so of course I was disappointed when I got to campus today and found out there were no free gyros anywhere,” said sophomore Finance major Matt Nieland.

“This is some blatant false advertising if you ask me,” said senior Chemical Engineering major Stacy Reynolds. “When I see ‘Free OU Greek,’ of course I’m going to think free hummus and pita chips. It’s not a hard jump to make.” Continue reading

Daily Reports “News” – Legendary Pride Director and Grumpy Old Man Unhappy With Changes to Band

tumbleweedinterviewNorman, OK – Several sources reported today that former Pride of Oklahoma director, “Coach” Gene Thrailkill, has spoken out against the new director, Dr. Justin Stolarik. We approached several current band members, who agreed to share their thoughts anonymously. Continue reading