Surprise Landslide Victory by Zorboz the Uncompromising After Record Underground Lizard Population Voter Turnout


Norman, OK – In what was predicted to be a solid victory for incumbent Republican Governor Mary Fallin, Oklahoma shocked the nation by electing flesh-eating reptilian overlord Zorboz the Uncompromising (I) as its governor in the last minute. As polls came to a close, the last voting district, located completely underneath Oklahoma in a network of catacombs and emptied oil wells, reported its 2.8 million votes unanimously selecting Zorboz for governor.

Pink, squishy surface-dwellers voiced their surprise at this turn of events.

“I was completely prepared to be stuck with a cold-blooded, bloodsucking monster for the next four years,” said Tulsa resident Gerry Anders. “This is so much better.”

“I thought for sure we had the Gingrich family out of politics,” said Coalgate resident Tom Kennedy, expressing disdain for the choice.

In his acceptance speech, Governor Zorboz appeared confident, if somewhat surprised at the result.

“HISSSSSSSSSSSS,” said Zorboz. “CRK-CHHHK. HHHHIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” He then spat venom in the eyes of a nearby reporter.

To better understand the motives for the unifying and record-setting turnout, Sweet Snark sent a team of reporters underground to interview some of the local lizard people population. They have not returned, but we will post updates as new information comes in.