Chimy’s Restaurant Requires Minors to Text Manager When They Get Home

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Norman, OK – Early this year, Chimy’s management implemented a new policy to force underage customers to leave by 11:30 p.m. to cut down on underage drinking. Deeming this rule a success, Chimy’s management has decided to take its stance on student safety one step further. Continue reading

Sweet Snark Shelves Satirical Marriage Ban Article After It Becomes Real News

oklahomaban

Norman OK – Following U.S. District Judge Terrence Kern’s overturning of Oklahoma’s ban on gay marriage last week, Sweet Snark staff began putting together a satirical report detailing the GOP’s retaliation by proposing a ban marriage altogether. We were forced to abandon the project after receiving word that they actually fucking did it. Continue reading

Survey Indicates OU Shooting Scare “Disappointing”

shooting2Norman, OK – After the shooting scare on campus Tuesday morning turned out to simply be a mechanical backfire from a nearby construction site, Sweet Snark staff hit the streets to get a feel for the student body’s general mindset. Results showed that the majority of students “kinda weirdly hoped it was real” and felt a morbid sense of disappointment toward the false alarm. Continue reading

Brutal False Alarm Rocks OU Campus

shootingNorman, OK – Authorities reported possible shots fired near Gould Hall around 11:17am today. Sweet Snark officials were on the scene within seconds to relay the situation quickly and accurately. Initial reports included one shot heard, but no sightings of a shooter. Thanks to social media such as Facebook and Twitter, we were able to find new details literally at the speed of light. Continue reading

Protest Group Funds Billboard for Parking Garages

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Norman, OK – Riding on the coattails of a successful movement by disgruntled Pride of Oklahoma fans and alumni, a new protest group has come forward with a billboard design to convince OU President David Boren to build new parking facilities on campus. Members of this “Store the Ride” movement believe this is the only remaining option to get Boren’s attention. Continue reading

Asshole Professor Continues Exam Despite Power Failure

assholeprofessorNorman, OK – When a glitch in the system at OG&E caused over one-third of the buildings on campus to lose power yesterday afternoon, many students were elated to find their classes cancelled for the day. Several students even reported getting out of a psychology test due to the blackout. However, one dick of a professor, Dr. Milford Crowder, refused to cancel his geography exam despite pleas from his students to reschedule. Continue reading