Norman, OK – Riding on the coattails of a successful movement by disgruntled Pride of Oklahoma fans and alumni, a new protest group has come forward with a billboard design to convince OU President David Boren to build new parking facilities on campus. Members of this “Store the Ride” movement believe this is the only remaining option to get Boren’s attention.
“We’ve tried and tried, but Boren refuses to listen to us,” said alumnus Carol Finch. “Our ‘park-in,’ where we all drove our cars to campus and filled the lots to prove our point, fell through. ‘That defeats the purpose,’ people said. ‘You’re not supporting the students if you just take their spots like that,’ they said.”
Still, the alumni in uproar over the lack of acceptable parking on campus remain resolute. Rumors have spread that Boren’s refusal to build new facilities may have questionable origins involving the Board of Regents. Local film critic Jack Jackson launched a full-scale journalistic investigation on the controversy.
“I have an article that’s going to shake this university, maybe even America itself, to the core,” said Jackson, four months ago. “This is going to literally be the biggest, most controversial article to ever hit the web. Get ready.”
At press time, this earth-shattering article has not been published. The petitions and requests for donations, however, continue.
“Everything we’re doing is 100% in support of the students,” said Finch. “That’s why we’re funding this billboard.”
Sweet Snark staff met with David Boren to hear his input on these billboards.
“The first one was fantastic,” he said. “All this time I’ve been telling them to externalize, and they finally did it. This is what I meant the whole time. If you want me to change things, you’ve literally go to put things outside.”
Supporters of Store the Ride are invited to sign a petition and voice their concerns to President Boren directly.