Norman, OK – A few months ago in a town right in the middle of Oklahoma, a prophecy was once told of a director that would bring entertainment to the Pride. One young man from the University of Wisconsin, Dr. Justin Stolarik, was believed to be that director, but was quickly swayed to the dark side by the evil Sith Lord, Darth Weitzenhoffer. Stolarik came to be known as the terrifying Darth Bucky, and together they changed the Sooner Republic into the Badger Empire, plunging the band into a long civil war.
After many bloody confrontations between the Empire and newly-founded Pride Alliance, the rebels finally began to gain some footing. These victories did not come without great loss, however. Many Bothans died to bring fans the original fanfare. Their sacrifice proved not to be in vain upon the destruction of the dreaded Death Star.
With such strong pushback, several Empire staff approached Grand Moff Boren in an attempt to convince him to step in and restore the Pride to its original glory, to which Boren replied, “Evacuate in our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.”
Nevertheless, the Alliance continued its siege. One elite squadron, the Tubas, achieved a significant victory with their strike against the Empire, gaining galactic attention. This, combined with efforts from rebel leadership, has resulted in an almost total victory over pregame. However, Alliance members report that the fight is far from over.
“STAY ON TARGET,” said a trumpet rank leader. “STAY ON TARGET.”
Despite many won battles against the Empire, many rebels still feel as though ultimate victory cannot be achieved without the destruction of Darth Bucky.
“He was the chosen one,” said one Tuba pilot. “It was said that he would destroy boring shows, not create them! Bring excitement to the field, not leave it in darkness.”
Even among the violent conflict, some members believe that Darth Bucky still has a chance for redemption. “Because there is good in him,” a trombone rank leader said. “I’ve felt it. He won’t turn us over to the Emperor. We can save him. We can turn him back to the good side. We have to try.”
Reporters overheard a conversation between a young student and the wise Coach Thrailkill, as follows.
“No more training do you require. Already know you, that which you need,” said Thrailkill.
“Then we are a Band,” replied the student.
Thrailkill shook his head and said, “No. Not yet. One thing remains. Weitzenhoffer. You must confront Weitzenhoffer. Then, only then, a Band will you be. And confront him you will.”